#authorsofwordpress Archives - Chris Budd

The High Functioning Introvert

Chris Budd — Wed, 09 Jun 2021 11:31:04 +0000

I think it was Billy Connolly who once said that anyone who expresses an interest in being a politician should be automatically banned from being one.

Another great line is from Edie Brickell who said in her song I Do ‘I want someone to follow who doesn’t lead the way.’

The Cult of Personality

The great leaders of people who have an idea which touch you, which speak to your core values. They elucidate that idea because they believe it.

Unfortunately, it is so often in the nature of people to then worship the person above the idea.

This cult of personality means that positions of authority so often attract people who want to be heard, rather than people who necessarily have anything interesting to say.

Opening Up

I’ve taken lots of advice on how to promote my books. I am told that people want to understand the person behind the writing.

I’m really not comfortable with this. This might sound disingenuous – I know that come across as a person who wants the limelight, who wants to be on the stage.

I used to play guitar in a covers band. We played lots of parties and balls, often to hundreds of people. It’s true, I loved being on the stage, and I loved watching people having a great time because of how good the band was.

So I did enjoy being on the stage, but not to be watched or applauded (aw heck, a bit of praise is always nice!).

I like getting up to share ideas, I like discussing ideas, I’d like being at the heart of a discussion. I am, however, deeply uncomfortable with being the centre of attention.

Somebody once called me a high functioning introvert. I think this is a great expression, describes somebody like me, who wants to be in the discussion, to join in the debate, but not be the subject of it.

This is at the centre of The Vanishing Point. The business leaders and politicians, the celebrities, who want fame for fame’s sake. How would they react if there was an opportunity for just one of them to be at the centre of the biggest event to happen to mankind?

And who would we turn to then, who would we choose to really lead us?

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The Intrinsic Motivation Of Writing

Chris Budd — Wed, 02 Jun 2021 11:55:32 +0000

Why do people write fiction, or create music.

Is it for money? For fame?

If these are the reasons, then they are poor ones, as these are extrinsic motivations. Let me explain.

The Financial Wellbeing Book

As well as fiction, I have also published non-fiction books. The Financial Wellbeing Book is all about our relationship with money. It provides the reader with a pathway to create a financial plan to make you happier, not just wealthier.

I also write the Financial Wellbeing Podcast. In episode 42, Professor Tim Kasser explains the two different types of motivations – the reasons why we do things.

An extrinsic motivation is something that we do for other people. It might be a reward, status, fame, or perhaps a deadline or to avoid a fine.

In contrast, an intrinsic motivation doesn’t really have a reason why you do it – you just do it because you want to.

Now, research shows us that achieving an extrinsic motivation does not have any effect on our wellbeing.

Achieving an intrinsic motivation, however, does increase wellbeing.

Intrinsic writing

I recall reading an interview with one of my favourite artists, Van Morrison, in the 90s. In it, he said that he saw making music as being his job. Just what he did to pay the bills.

I struggle to believe at the Van Morrison of the 70s and early 80s, when he made his great records, thought that way. And I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I stopped finding his music interesting when he started thinking of it as a job.

Personally, I write because I need to write. I enjoy it. Of course it’s wonderful when somebody tells you how much they enjoyed your novel, when you get positive Amazon reviews (please post Amazon reviews!). If I only got negative reviews I would probably still write, but maybe I wouldn’t publish!

Would I like to be offered a five book deal for my novels? Would I like one of my novels to be made into a movie? Damn right I would.

But that isn’t the reason why I write. For me, writing it is intrinsic.

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Make Good Art

Chris Budd — Wed, 26 May 2021 11:55:48 +0000

In November 2020, I started writing novel four. It’s based on an idea I’ve had for a long time, and when I talk to friends about story ideas, this is the one they always like the sound of best. Provisionally titled How To Escape, it is, among other things, about creativity.

I have a difficult relationship with creativity. I have written stories, poems, songs all my life but it was not something I was ever encouraged to do.

Maybe I just wasn’t any good at taking the hint!

(And a self depreciating comment like that is the result of a life of not being encouraged to be creative).

Could I Make Good Art*?

I have found that people tend to assume that if they know you, then they find it hard to believe that you are unlikely to be able to write anything good.

The attitude tends to be “Only famous people make good art and write good books, and I don’t know anyone famous. You’re not famous, and I know you, so you can’t have written a good novel.”

Consequently, a very common comment I get when friends read my novels is “Do you know, I actually really enjoyed it.”

This lack of faith in my creativity has been a common theme throughout my life. I distinctly recall, age 17, two female friends listening to me play them a song that I had written. Afterwards, they said they liked it (again, with a tone of surprise), and asked me “Did you make that up yourself?”

I was so hurt that they could not bring themselves to use the word ‘write’. ‘Make it up’ somehow robbed the creative process of its glamour.

As a consequence, I never felt that I had the right – the ‘permission’ – to be creative and to express myself.

Just Be Creative

So if, like me, you sometimes struggle with the idea of being creative, maybe you secretly feel you do not have permission to do something that you enjoy which has no real purpose, my suggestion is this.

Do it anyway.

Being creative is something I came to realise that I need to do. It’s not because I want to make money or to be applauded (although nice comments and reviews are very much appreciated!).

I write because it’s fun. I hope you do too.

*The phrase ‘Make Good Art’ comes from a brilliant Neil Gaiman speech

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The Rule of 9

Chris Budd — Wed, 19 May 2021 11:55:17 +0000

Do You Need To Write?

Clearing out a corner of the cabin in our garden from which I work, I recently rediscovered the novel that I wrote when I was aged 21, in 1988.

It’s a complete first draft entirely typed out onto a portable typewriter that I bought as a student.

It was interesting to read it again. It is terrible, but without it, I would not have written my subsequent novels. There was, however, a gap of over 20 years before I started writing fiction again.

My Muzzy Head

In 2010 I went to the GP with what she termed a muzzy head. She suggested we take some blood test to see what might be wrong with me.

I went back for the results two weeks later, and she was pleased to report that they come back clear and there was nothing wrong. She waited for me to leave.

I said that whilst I was pleased she had found nothing wrong, I still have my muzzy head. I mentioned that one website suggested that it might be a mild form of depression.

The doctor gave me a form to take home and fill out. She asked me to bring it back completed two weeks later.

I will never forget sitting at the kitchen table as I unfolded this tatty and much photocopied piece of paper, headed ‘Depression Questionnaire’.

The first question asked: how many times a week do you feel like killing yourself?

Noticing What Was Missing

Around that time, a friend, who was training to be a life coach, asked if I would be a guinea pig for her to practice on. I confess I was a little cynical, but agreed to help her out.

Those three sessions changed my life. We realised that the one thing I felt I wanted to do I was not doing, and that this was what was causing me the depression.

Filling The Void

So I started writing again. I created the space by taking Wednesdays off, and began writing what became my first novel, A Bridge Of Straw, published three years later.

Six months after I started writing again, I realised that the muzzy head had gone.

I truly believe that to write something great first of all I need to write quite a lot of rubbish. Neil Finn calls it the rule of 9 – out of every 10 songs he write, 9 aren’t very good, and 1 is. But he has to write those 9 to get to the 1.

I’m glad that I finished that novel when I was 20, and I have no regrets about stopping until I felt I had something to say.

I do wish, however, I had restarted earlier!

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‘The Vanishing Point’ Publication Journey

Chris Budd — Fri, 16 Apr 2021 13:39:57 +0000

Well, today is the day – my third novel, The Vanishing Point is published. How does it feel, I hear you ask?

Handing In The Homework

Imagine you are a thirteen year old boy, and have been told to write a poem as your English homework.

Showing your feelings in front of your classmates is the one thing that must not be allowed to happen. The only likely outcome is to be on the receiving end of a Chinese burn from Stephen Dare in the playground at lunchtime. No good can come of it.

Nevertheless, the topic that you were given struck a nerve. In a reflective moment, you write a poem that really expresses how you are feeling. It is the first time you have ever done this, and you hand in your homework to the teacher with a feeling of secret pride.

And so it is with enormous horror that you hear your name called out as the teacher asks you to come to the front of the room and read out your poem to the whole class.

Can you imagine that moment as you make that walk to the front of the class?

If you can, you will have an inkling of what it is like to publish a novel. It is the ultimate handing in of your homework.

How To Write A Novel

So why do I do it?

I write because I need to write – I picked up the habit again about 10 years ago after a period of (mild) depression, which I realised had come about because I wasn’t writing.

The Vanishing Point is my third novel. I have discovered that each novel takes me about three years to produce. First is the initial idea, then a period of research and gathering thoughts, creating plots and characters.

Then I start writing and, after a while, I start to realise what I am actually writing about.

To quote Mark Kermode, Jaws is not about a shark. The hunt for the rogue shark is merely the story, a vehicle to allow the story teller to examine themes of greed, masculinity, the old versus the new, man versus nature, how we confront our mortality.

For me, this is the most exciting part of writing a novel, when you start to uncover what it is you are actually writing about. Then you can use the second, third, fourth draft, to hone the concept, to allow it to breathe through the actions and decisions of the characters.

Having lived with these characters and concepts for so long, I now want to share the ideas with as many people as possible.

The Vanishing Point

So what is my third novel, The Vanishing Point, about?

Warning – what follows doesn’t include spoilers, but it does explain the story. If, like me, you don’t even read the back cover of a book because you want the entire experience to be new, then skip this next bit and go straight to ‘A Plea’ below.

The Vanishing Point is a thriller/satire about the future of humanity. A spaceship arrives on Earth with a special message that can only be delivered to one person. It is the story of that message and the reason for the arrival of the spaceship.

What The Vanishing Point is about, however, is our search for purpose and meaning, in the form of destiny. The destiny of Hannah, a middle-aged businesswoman seeking her purpose in life. Of Torben, a loner physics graduate in Copenhagen who is convinced that he has invented the most incredible machine in the history of mankind, even if he doesn’t actually know what it does. Of David Armitage, the man who pulls the strings of world leaders and yet finds himself dissatisfied.

And, ultimately, the destiny of humanity as we career towards the sixth mass extinction of life on earth.

It’s also a rollicking yarn with some pretty good jokes. I hope readers will enjoy the read but also be left with lots to think about.

A Plea

It takes a lot of effort to produce a competent novel, both in the writing, but also paying for editors, artists, publishers, etc.

I also believe that what I write about is important – that’s why I write about it! Readers may or may not agree with all points of view, but the subjects I cover are, I feel, worthy of debate.

I therefore really appreciate your support. Here’s how you might help:

Forward this email to one person (or more if you want!)
When you’ve read the book, post an (honest) Amazon review – Goodreads too, if that’s your bag
Suggest one of my books for a book group (I love attending the discussions – sometimes as a surprise guest!)
Post your thoughts on social media (I’m on Twitter @ovationchris and Facebook)

It’s a crowded marketplace out there. If you like The Vanishing Point (or any of my other novels), your validation may make the difference to someone taking the plunge.

Thank you – I really look forward to hearing what you think of The Vanishing Point!

Chris

The book is available from Amazon or (even better) direct from the publisher. Either route via https://www.chrisbudd.co.uk/

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